Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

Year:  1991

Filming:  Color

Length:  155 minutes

Genre:  Action/Adventure/Drama/Swashbuckler

Maturity:  PG-13 (for battle sequences, thematic elements, and some sexuality)

Cast:  Kevin Costner (Robin Hood), Morgan Freeman (Azeem), Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio (Marion Dubois), Christian Slater
(Will Scarlett), Nick Brimble (Little John), Michael McShane (Friar Tuck), Alan Rickman (Sheriff of Nottingham), Brian Blessed (Lord Locksley)

Director:  Kevin Reynolds

Personal Rating:  2 Stars

***

    As a Robin Hood fan and an old-fashioned girl, I always raised an eyebrow when I spied this modern film version perched on a library shelf. I had considerable apprehensions on what they would do to remake my beloved Rob, and really didn’t feel I had a strong enough stomach to handle it. But eventually I figured I wouldn’t be able to make a proper comparative analysis without at least giving it a once over, so I steeled myself and prepared to deal with the foreseen mediocrity of modernization, changer in hand for necessary fast-forwarding if the pain became too intense to withstand.  

   The film opens during the Crusades where the wealthy young Robin of Locksley is languishing in a Saracen prison. After offering to take the place of another prisoner who is about to have his hand chopped off, he uses his super-galactic-super-unrealistic fighting skills to launch a massive prisoner revolt. In addition to freeing as many Christian prisoners as possible, he also rescues a Moorish political prisoner named Azeem who agrees to return the favor by saving his life someday.

    Returning to England with Azeem, Robin discovers to his horror that his father has been framed by the evil Sheriff of Nottingham and murdered by a corrupt inquisition that claims he practiced dark magic. In truth, it is the Sheriff who has been dabbling in the occult with a run-of-the-mill-creepy-hag who claims to be able to make him a success by reading the future in egg yolks. Robin, meantime, tries to secure the aid of the rather prickly Maid Marian who he has not seen since she was a child. Eventually, being hunted down as heir to the Locksley estate, he is forced to take shelter in Sherwood Forest.

    There he meets a band of outlaws who are none-too-keen to take the riches-to-rags outcast into their inner circle. But through his courage, innovation, and fighting skills, he eventually assumes command of the disorganized bunch and turns them into a hit-and-run fighting force capable of protecting the common people from the tyranny of Prince John in hopes that King Richard will return and validate their stand. After an epic battle for possession of the outlaw camp, the outlaws hold their ground, but Robin is believed to be dead. Meanwhile, the sheriff men capture a handful of peasant children and use them as hostages to force the well-to-do Marian to wed him.

    More trouble unfolds when Will Scarlett, a young outlaw who chafes under Robin’s command, offers to be a spy for the sheriff to find out if “the Hood” is still alive. But in the process of doing so, an even more unexpected twist is in store as the two men discover they are really long-lost half-brothers due to their father’s liaison with a commoner that Robin broke up! (Dysfunctional family plot…joy…) Anyway, their common bond is the link that reunites Robin’s band, and the battle to free the hostages, rescue Maid Marian, and overthrow the tyranny of the Sheriff is underway.

    Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves is another big-budget would-be epic that puts glamour before substance and tries to pair historical fiction with fantasy/sci-fi in a way that is nothing short of ridiculous. Artistically, it has some entertainment value here and there, but if you are like me, and prefer to actually “get the feel” of a past time period as opposed to having it exchanged for miss-match portrayal, this really isn’t for you. Modernizations are rife from beginning to end, trying to make it all more trendy, multi-cultural, and feminist. Superman action sequences are off-putting, as are the crude, rude, and lewd actions and linguistics that are liberally sprinkled throughout.

    Whoever decided to bestow the honorable title of “Prince of Thieves” on Kevin Costner should have been run out of Hollywood on a rail. I mean the guy reeks of 1990’s California, has trouble mustering up even the vaguest hint of an English accent, and simply cannot mesh with even an obviously shoddy depiction of 12^th century England.       Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio’s depiction of Maid Marion is something of a generic girl-power model that conveys too little of the discreet sparkle and charm that I have always found delightful about her character. Plus, she seems to take pleasure viewing a naked Rob swimming in a lake! Her plump lady in waiting also proves to be a lame comic relief figure.

    The Sheriff of Nottingham is disgustingly overdone, with his topless harlots and hoaky witch sidekick who claims to be able to discern the future in breakfast food. The most disturbing sequence has to be his attempt to rape Marian, which was totally over the top and unnecessarily graphic. Little John is shown as being a foul-mouthed ruffian who’s pushed around by his formidable wife, Fanny. Friar Tuck is a drunken wreck who sings filthy ditties, only to be slightly rehabilitated when he is appointed chaplain at Sherwood. Still he stands out as a bloated bigot when dealing with the Muslim Azeem. Again, he does redeem himself to some extent by inviting the Moor to share a drink with him after Azeem saves Little John’s wife. But overall, he is fairly unlovable and a generally a disgrace to the priesthood.

    That having been said, there are some interesting twists in the plot. Getting to see Robin Hood in the Holy Land was a rare treat, and having him offer to have his hand cut off in the place of Marian’s was a gesture in keeping with his character. Having said brother charge Robin with caring for Marian after being mortally wounded is interesting as well. I thought Azeem was okay as an additional sidekick, and I had no problem with having the Islamic perspective introduced to the plot. One of the best lines from was when a little girl asks him why his skin is so much darker than her own. “Because Allah loves diversity,” he responds.

    Of course, the Crusades are generally cast in a bad light. Lord Locksley, portrayed as a man of principle, is against his son going to fight in Palestine, saying that it is vanity to force one’s religion on others (which completely misses many of the reasons why the Crusades were actually fought, but anyway…). Frankly, Islam has been extremely intolerant towards other religions during the course of its history, and making Eastern culture seem more spiritually and intellectually enlightened than the West is hogwash. It is true that technological advances were definitely made in Europe as a result of contact with the East, as it is true that later the East would make similar advances through contact with the West, as is portrayed (negatively, may I add) in The Last Samurai. 

    Some of Azeem’s lines and actions are admittedly humorous, like his declaration that he would never let a man sneak up on him “who smells of garlic, while a wind is blowing to the back of me.” He also seems to takes his sweet time to repay Robin Hood for saving his life, always putting his rather drawn-out prayer ritual first, but in the end proving that he really knew what he was doing the whole time. There is some genuinely good banter between them, especially when R.H. is stunned by the projection of Azeem’s telescope. “I don’t know how you English are winning the war,” the Moor sighs, referring to The Crusades. “God only knows,” Rob returns brightly.

     The portrayal of the Church overall may not be glowing, but it could have been a lot worse. The bishop is corrupt, Friar Tuck is a lout, and the Crusades and the Inquisition are portrayed darkly. However, it is also shown that Robin and Marion are both practicing Catholics, and that the bad guys plunder churches and misuse humble country clergymen. R.H. returns the stolen articles to the Church. One major motif that stands out in the film is the cross pendant hung on Lord Locksley’s grave which Robin assumes as a symbol to mete out justice to his father’s murderers.

    With regards to battle sequences, the long-staff duel in the river was exciting enough, if rather drawn out, with Little John using less than gentlemanly language. Later on, it was interesting to see Sherwood Forest laid out as an actual defensible compound with tree-houses, bridges, and an ingenious rope-swinging system (which Rob and Marian make romantic use of!). The battle is not your average woodland skirmish, but a full-scale assault and counter-attack. It’s cool, if a bit over-extended. The hokiest part is when Costner-Hood is thought to be dead, but then reappears, unexplained, out of the forest mist! The last battle is way overblown, and the hanging sequence last a forever before the suspended personages are finally rescued. But really I think the duded would naturally have been deceased by then!

    To its credit, this version, as innovative as it aspires to be, it does not abandon the bare essentials of the Robin Hood narrative we all know and love. R.H. is a full-fledged hero, not a Russell Crowe anti-hero, and his dedication to the English people is pure. One scene I find particularly stirring is when he when he returns to England from Palestine, and kisses the ground. Another scene I appreciated was when Robin explains to Marian how he went from being a play-boy to the man of the people: How on the Crusades, he had seen high-born men turn and flee, while a low-born man had pulled a spear from his own body to defend a wounded horse. Hence, he discovered that nobility is made manifest through acts more than birthright.

       

     So my overall synopsis of Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves is that it is a newbie hip-flick, trying to remake beloved classic and somehow give it more spring in its step. As I’ve outlined, it does have its positive points, but perhaps the main problem with the whole production is belief that it is even necessary to modernize all things old in order to keep up with the times, instead of letting modern audiences learn to appreciate an older setting and comportment that does not necessarily perfectly coincide with their own.

    This is all the more distressing since our present tee-shirt and flip-flop era has almost completely lost its sense of modesty and decorum, both in daily life and on the Silver Screen. The lessons and charm of the past seem to be lost to the masses, which is nothing less than tragic. If you want to watch superior Robin Hood adaptations, check out the film versions with Errol Flynn and Richard Todd, the TV series with Richard Greene, and the Walt Disney animal cartoon. They beat California Costner-Hood of Smoggy Sherwood by a running mile.

Robin Hood (Kevin Costner) meditates at his father's grave